What is fear stopping you from doing? The is a Japanese Proverb that says, fear is only as deep as the mind allows.  While it may seem trivial, this past weekend I conquered a fear that my mind was allowing for almost 5 years: camping with my family.  Growing up I loved going camping with my parents for two weeks every summer (or at least I love the memory of them now). There is nothing quite like the smell of campfires at night and the crisp breeze of a fresh morning.  But since our first son was born, I have been making up excuses as to why we were not camping: he would not sleep through the night, we would end up driving home at 3am because we were all miserable, I would not sleep well and then I would have a bad workout the next day and then I would be in a bad mood…. and so on and so on.

Finally, when someone canceled their reservation in Estes Park earlier this week just as I was looking at the campsite reservation site, I figured it was the universe telling me to let go of this fear and see what happens. Yes, it rained when we were eating and since we forgot to bring rain gear (who checks the weather forecast?) we ended up running to the car and eating inside of our trusty Subaru Outback. At night I put on two fleece jackets, and if I stood any closer to the campfire I think my fleece would have combusted. And the first round of hamburgers burned since my focus was on the black storm cloud rushing towards us, rather than cooking. But you know what – the kids all slept through the night and woke up as happy as could be. They loved watching the elk roaming the fields, and spotting fish in the lake. We had a really great time.

What does this teach me about fear and leadership? Sometime our fears are rationale (did I mention it down poured rain?), but even reasonable fears should not stop me from doing something I love or really want to do. Yes, maybe a client will say no, or the second book will still not make it to the New York Times best seller list, but these fears still do not make it ok to not try. It makes me wonder what other fears I need to push through to open new doors and new experiences in life. Perhaps fear is just a politically correct way of saying “excuses”.  For me, it is time to stop making excuses and start opening doors, not standing there fearing what might be behind them.

What fear will you conquer this week?

I like to plan. Make that: I love to plan. I plan vacations. I plan workouts. I plan career paths. The funny thing is, as much as I have some grand plan on how things are supposed to go in my life, so often my backup plan turns out to be much better than what I spent months designing, organizing, and outlining.  In life and business, I have come to realize having a clear vision of the future (something as my guiding North Star) is vital, but planning every step along the way will probably not get me there.

As most of my brilliant clients and co-workers know (and my blog readers), so many lessons in leadership come from my sweat and tears on my amateur triathlon courses. This summer I had planned on having an amazing triathlon season – that was my North Star guiding my 5:30am swim workouts throughout the winter! My husband and I signed up for Ironman Canada to celebrate our 10^th anniversary of meeting at Ironman Lake Placid, but unfortunately injuries kept us from ramping up the training and I had to withdraw a month before the race. Because of this change of course, I signed up for a few races to keep my spirits high in bike/triathlon crazed Boulder for the rest of the summer. My pulled-out-of-nowhere racing season resulted in a 2^nd finish in the Outdoor Divas Triathlon, and wins at the Steamboat Olympic Triathlon and the Oktoberfest Sprint Triathlon this past weekend. Not bad for a big vision with a big change of plans!

I realize that my plans do work in the end, but not because I stay the course no matter what is thrown my way, but because I change my plans and my goals often, if not continuously. The one constant is that they are always aligned to my guiding North Star, my vision of my life. This is true in leadership, life, and business. Staying the course is admirable, but so is changing it when it makes sense. So many people tell me they cannot plan their career three years out because so much is going to change. Yes, it will, but the vision for the future – your future – should not be changing if it comes right from the heart. Your perfect plan may mean setting a crazy-wonderful vision of the future and going after it, but then changing course as needed to get there.

The Good, the Bad, the Ugly: In Leadership

When I stepped onto the grounds of the University of Miami’s Coral Gables campus the first day of my freshman year back in 1990, I thought I arrived in paradise. 21 years later, I still loyally hang my Hurricane warning flags before football games and have taught my son how to cheer, “C-A-N-E-S, Go Canes!” Last week, the news came out of perhaps the biggest scandal in NCAA football history. Money, alcohol, prostitutes, million dollar yachts, connections between student athletes and pro agents – the list goes on and on. If it was illegal or unethical, 73 of the University of Miami Hurricane athletes were doing it, and at least 7 of the coaches knew about it.

Many would argue that Miami’s confidence, drive, and dare I say “swagger” has been part of what makes the U the “U”. But Miami’s strengths, facilitated by the highly unethical Nevin Shapiro, were the downfall of these 73 players and 7 coaches. Confidence turned to arrogance, drive turned to ambivalence, and the swagger turned to hubris.

Leaders, just like athletes, bring strengths to the table, but strengths can turn into blind spots, and potential undoing if not used correctly. Knowing your blind sports is the first step to becoming a self-aware, highly productive leader, but accepting them and doing something about them is what really counts.

What are your own blind spots? Many leaders I work with joke by saying they are perfectionists, but this “weakness” is a sophomoric analysis.  If you did not want to deliver a perfect product or service, you would probably not have a job. But over confidence is a weakness. A leader’s confidence can sometimes be seen by others as crudeness and may alienate the very people they need on their team. Fast paced leaders may see themselves as “goal oriented” but if they do not slow down and ask “what if” (even if it does not come naturally) they may miss possible negative implications down the road.

Our perceptions of our own behaviors may be different to the perceptions others have of us. How do you find your own blind spots?  Follow these three steps:

1. Ask friends or colleagues for feedback.
2. Listen to them.  Do not dismiss the perceptions you do not share out of hand, otherwise they well may be your own downfall in the future. If one person thinks you can work on something, it may just be an opinion.  If two people think you have the same weakness, you may want to start listening.
3. Create a support network to develop a list of cues to tune you into when your strengths are becoming weaknesses. Perhaps you may start taking in more audience cues next time you run a team meeting, and if it looks like most people are not ready to move forward with a decision or project, you can remind yourself to slow down, take a breath, and switch your communication approach.

Everyone knows they have strengths and weaknesses, but the real trick is using your strengths to their fullest, but not so much they become a disadvantage.